People are not disposable. If we can understand that loving is a lifelong process, we keep the door open to as many people as possible. We do everything in our strength to have peace and harmony with everyone.
Perhaps the hardest three words in the English language are ‘I was wrong’. ‘You were wrong’ rolls off the tongue with greater ease. It’s easier to own that another is wrong. It’s more troublesome to live in my own sense of being the offender.
And yet, learning to be wrong sets me right. It is in owning my failures and confessing them, that I get a sober mind and strength to change.
You may have made things right with another, but that does not give you credit to be underhanded and abusive again. To make amends means I cannot go back to the way things were when I cheated you. I must with God’s help have a healthier respect and love for you.
I do not need to let years roll by before I admit my wrong to you again. Remember the lists we keep? I do not want to keep being added to your list of hurts. I do not want to have another long list of amends to make. If I can learn to freely admit when I’m wrong, there is less likelihood of me going back to the addictive patterns of sin in my life. Sin separates us, but love keeps us humbly connected in truth.
A 10th Step prayer for Growth and Effectiveness:
"God, please help me Watch for Selfishness, Dishonesty, Resentment and Fear. When these crop up in me, help me to immediately ask you to remove them from me and help me discuss these feelings with someone. Father, help me to quickly make amends if I have harmed anyone and help me to resolutely turn my thoughts to someone I can Help. Help me to be Loving and Tolerant of everyone today. Amen"[i]