What is it about love that makes us say that we fall? Did you somehow trip and end up like this? What is it an accident? People fall off bikes, fall into pits and fall into sin.

Maybe there is more truth in saying that you have ‘risen in love’.

At Easter we will remember that Jesus died and three days later rose from the dead. The Truth of resurrection means that we can overcome death and our own falling nature and rise again with new life. It is God that makes that possible.

If you want to have a great marriage, there is always something in us that needs to die. Our selfish natures have a backlog of broken desires. We all are capable of hurting ourselves as well as the ones closest to us. That immature, godless part of us needs to die. The old ways must fall away.

Jesus said,

John 15:
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 

If we can understand that Jesus death was willing on his part and done as a gift of love, then we can understand that our best expressions of love will include a dying to self. Selfless love… The mysterious thing is that we must die to live. Jesus laid down his life and was resurrected. Love is like that. We lose our life to find it.

Anais Nin (annez-ninn) said,

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” 

 How do we replenish the source of love in a marriage? It starts with a heart that is tender towards God and also towards people. It is questionable whether you can be ‘tender-hearted’ toward a spouse and hard-hearted towards another human being simultaneously. In the hardening of love’s arteries there is always collateral damage.

We must learn to live in forgiveness consistently if we are to be ‘tender-hearted’ toward our spouse. In fact, God will use your spouse throughout life to keep you tender if you are willing.