In the art of approval seeking, there are some common patterns of human behaviour. There may be more models, but let us look at four classic responders in their need to be affirmed.

Affirmation Seeker #2 Rejector

The rejector is one who has lived a life with an expectation placed on them and sought independence to find affirmation somewhere else. Samson or Jonah gives us an example of this. God blessed them both with a calling in their life.

Samson was called from birth to be a Judge in Israel. His parents complied by raising him with a Nazirite vow. He was not allowed to cut his hair, touch a dead thing or abstain from wine. It was a voluntary vow, but there was an expectation from family placed on him to obey the calling on his life.

The rejector is one who reluctantly goes through the motions of childhood devotion but looks for notoriety and comfort in the forbidden things. They may have a sense of entitlement in the community, but disrespect those who are viewed as holding them back from enjoying life.

Some rejectors will play both sides as a way of meeting their own needs and also satisfying the need to be heroic in the eyes of their community.

The rejector may be defiant, but because of the value system they have been raised with will have a deep but imbalanced concern for justice. They will not step away from a fight. Often he or she has to hit rock bottom and lose all their credibility before they can align with the plans and purposes of God.